Being Aggressive About Passive!



I have struggled and banged my head against the wall so many times when a piece of work comes back and I find a note next to a line through a sentence telling me its passive. How about that? So now I have not only found out (via Scribes & Scholars) about the tool on my computer that tells me I have a % of passive sentences in say, a page of pros, I have also devised a method of getting rid of it and making sure my ED never comes back at me again. There's still everything else that's wrong but at least this is a start.

Of course, I should have known about the tool and this only goes to show how much I know about my computer. My wife tells me I need to go on  a course to learn more. Yes, I do, but where do I find the time.

Now I take a page at a time and check for passive. If the test is positive I then check a paragraph at a time until I find the big P. Then I KILL it by manipulating the sentence structure. What a great feeling it is to look at the stats box and see that little 0% against 'passive'. I have even started giving myself a little incentive at the end of the chapter. Tea with three biscuits.

Hanging participles are next. For some reason I seem to act like a magnet. They cling to me and then hide within the script, waiting for ED's big red pen. Unfortunately there is no tool to eliminate them so I have to hunt them down.

The next time some smart Alec tells me it must be easy writing a book, I am going show them a page from my novel and ask them if they can see through all the red ink, under the remarks, and around the tear stains to read the script. For anyone to put up with all this destruction of their  inspirational work they have to love writing. I wonder sometimes if we writers are masochists.

BLUES IN

EMERALD CITY

I’m waitin for the ferry

Yeah, lookin cross the Sound

My sweet baby’s left me all alone

she was big dream city bound

Somewhere in a crowd of troubled souls

she’ll be hangin round the square

the square that shows no pity

Only dream my woman has

Is Blues in Emerald City

There’s a heartache on the ferry

oh, no one knows my pain

I’ll keep walkin till I find her

walkin through the tears and rain

Hammerin man on first avenue

he’s not sayin where she’s at

he hammers without pity

Iron giant without soul

There’s Blues in Emerald City

A poor man stands in Pike Place

He’s holdin out his hand

In his empty eyes I see her

earnin booze with one night stands

Somewhere on these blacktop slopes

gonna find her in a bar

the bar that keeps ya dizzy

Red eyed singer sings the blues

Sings Blues in Emerald City

Seattle – too much rain, too much good food, lots of great jazz